When Jerry Maguire first came out, MarianEvans actually mis-heard Renee Zellweger's famous line, interpreting it as the title above suggests. Of course, given the odd nature of such a statement, Evans realized she was mistaken in her hearing. But I think her mistake is understandable, considering Zellweger's pinched, swollen-faced, puffy-cheeked visage, which has an indellible effect on her enunciation: "theeank youuu fer yer cyunsideraaation" .
But just imagine if this line had been used. What would be different? What might this film have been about? What is the plot? Who is Cruise's character? What's the story? Please, give me your ideas.
(On a different note, this line would be a fantastic title for a Jewish student union singles' mixer.)
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How about "you had me at halal?" Then Tom Cruise could be the representative of Scientology's newest manifestation, blending a hybrid of kosher and halal dietary laws as the true means of curing those so-called "mental diseases" that the pseudoscience of psychiatry purports to treat, thereby freeing the inner thetan.
Also, it would be Cruise's spurned ex-wife, Katie Holmes, screaming "show me the alimony!" surrounded by a home of little Icemen, the progeny of a short-lived fling between herself and Val Kilmer that transpired when Cruise was on a pilgrimage to the shrine of L. Ron Hubbard.
I'm frightened...
ME said I was too harsh on Renee, so now I feel bad. I'm not really trying to make fun of how she looks- it's more of her presentation, her aura. She looks like an alcoholic uncle I once had, she looks like many alcoholics I've seen--yes, I've known a few. And, I'm not bashing alcoholics, it's just, could she try to hide it and not flaunt it as if it's sexy. It's not sexy that your face looks totally swollen and it seems to distort how you speak. If it looked like your natural features I wouldn't get down on you, but it looks like you've done it to yourself and think that it's hot.
No, it really is that she just looks funny.
You could do a special on ER (the TV show) where Renee Zelwegger comes in with an alcohol overdose. You can call the episode "You had me at Haleh." She's one of the nurses on the show.
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